I think I just PB'd???

Well, that was fun... (sarcasm)

I decided to have a snack-sized bag of doritos. I don't know what the deal is but after a few they just did NOT want to go down. I threw the rest of the bag away because the pains I was having made me not want to eat a single chip more. I was having these intermittent pains in my chest and back (same spot just on both sides of me) and I was BURPING like no other. Just air burps. Well, I thought walking would help so I wandered around and finally leaned over the sink in one of those moments of pain. Well, I burped and it felt like stuff was RIGHT in my throat and I burped again and up came all those doritos I just ate. That's all... just the doritos... and it wasn't even uncomfortable or weird. Was this a PB? I felt instantly better and the burps stopped after that. Crazy! I don't wanna be doing that often... or ever.

So my guess is I was full and didn't need anything else. No more could fit so up it came. Convenient in a way but nasty in so many more ways. That'll teach me. AND it was a SNACK-SIZED bag!!! Oh well, not trying that again.

So those that PB... sound familiar? I've never done it before...

Splash Park and Junk

Can you believe my child woke up at 10:45 this morning?! Yesterday I thought 9:45 was a bit excessive but DANG! I guess I really wore her out at the zoo and last night Chris took her to swim lessons so she had a busy, big day. So, since I use her as an alarm clock... I slept that long too. I did, however, get up at 7 and went to the gym from 7:30-8, but came back and went to sleep again, lol.

With such a late start my struggle then is... do I eat lunch or breakfast!? LOL Such a struggle to have I know. We decided on lunch and we got ready pretty quick and head off to another splash park in another nearby town. This summer we are definitely getting to do so much more with me at home. I'm glad for Cadence that she is getting this Mommy time and also being able to have the fun times at the zoo and parks and all that.

I forgot my camera today so no pics from the splash park, sorry.

I did manage to find some energy when I got back and did a load of dishes, a load of laundry and folded 2 more loads that were waiting for me. I have to put away a ton of clothes now and that's my least favorite part. I might try to convince the hubby :D Cadence got into it and helped me clean up too! She brought all the dirty dishes to me and I loaded and she gathered more laundry for me (the husband strips wherever he wants, I swear). She's really been a great kid the last few weeks and I think her attitude she had before was very much school related. How can I not believe that when she acts so great for me after a week of being home?? I'm happy with this change, of course. :)

On the eating front... things didn't look good for me today. Lunch consisted of stopping at Culver's (seems to be a midwest chain) on the way to the splash park. I had a small order of cheese curds and a scoop of lemon ice w/strawberries on top. Fabulous. Not.so.healthy. :D Then I came home and finished off the puffy cheetos that somehow made it into my house. Don't worry, I did my household a favor by making them disappear. We are safe from the Chester Cheeto. You can all breathe easier now, I'm sure. So yeah... not so great. Sad thing... I'm full. How the heck am I gonna get 60 grams of protein in for the day at this hour!?!?! It ain't gonna happen people... and for that I am sorry, to myself. I had a bad eating day.

Love you ladies. :)

Zoo adventures!! :)

After waking up at 9:45 this morning (I sleep as late as the kiddo sleeps!) we decided we should hit up the local zoo. Madison is our nearest big city and it's 15-20 minutes to either side of town from here so it's close. Henry Vilas Zoo is the zoo name and it's a FREE zoo! Gotta love that! It has great animal exhibits (of course) and then there's a carousel for $1/ride and a "train" ride for a $1 (just a tractor pulling small cars behind). There's also a HUGE play area with soft "ground" to land on. You'll see a pic of that below. Here's a picture of my kiddo watching prairie dogs (I think??) digging holes in their exhibit.
Then here is that awesome play area I was talking about. Check out the gorgeous weather we were having too... soooo perfect for being outside. High 70s and lovely out.


I added a picture of my kiddo at the monkey exhibit but it deleted when it loaded... I am not too great at adding pics to these posts... for some reason I can't get there where I want to get them. Any advice?

I figure after all that zoo walking I deserve a gold star :) Plus my eating wasn't terrible at all either!

I have to head in to do my lovely (sarcasm) 3 hours of work for the evening. I can hardly wait!!

Love you ladies!!

Weekend, then a FILL!

This is my peanut waiting for the parade to start.

I did something I haven't done in a long time... took a self-portrait!

Had a FABULOUS weekend! It was our town's festival weekend and it's within walking distance from our house so we just walk down every day and enjoyed the fireworks from our BED!!! How sweet it that! It makes for a couple loud nights with the bands but it's worth it! :) We also spent a LOT of money but, eh, whatcha gonna do?! There's a carnival with rides, pony rides, petting zoo, music, FOOD, softball tourneys, craft fair, and it winds up on Sunday with a parade. It's just lovely :) I got a ton of color though... as in SUNBURN!!! OUCH! It's mild burn but I have some BROWN skin in some spots and I like how it looks but dang, I did apply sunscreen like three times!!

Today I had a fill with my surgeon. This is the first time I've seen my surgeon, alone, since before I went under!!! He's got such a great sense of humor and just makes me feel comfortable. He totally put my mind at ease with the whole, "what happens in a year when I'm FULL and can't get a FILL?" situation. He basically said what I know... tiny, tiny, tiny fills will do a lot for me at this point and he reassured me again that he feels I will never be "FULL." He asked me some questions that gave me more reassurance that I'm at a good restriction right now. He asked "are you hungry all the time?" My response was, "no, almost never." He asked how that was working for me and I told him that it's a hindrance sometimes because I have to remind myself to eat because I'm not hungry. Not a BAD thing but I don't always get in all my protein and we all know that when you don't get in all your protein you don't LOSE weight because your body holds onto it!! He said based on what I was telling him that he wanted to give me a small fill but then he asked where I live because it might make me be too tight and I'd have to come back soon. He gave me .5 ccs today and so far so good. I'm at 8.5 of 9 but again, I feel comfortable with his reassurance that I'll not be full so I'm ok with this! :)

It took two pokes to get it in there and I thought he was being a bit arrogant about fills at first. I told him I have a tilted port and it's hard to get into if you don't know that and he said, "oh, they're all tilted a bit." Then he had to poke me a second time because he "needed a better angle." Gee... listen much? I don't mind the pokes.. it's actually the pressure of him feeling around that bugs me most (and isn't much) as far as discomfort of fills goes.

Between the last fill and this one I lost 3 lbs so that's something. Although, it's always harder to tell using their scale because I weigh at home, naked. There, I weigh in wearing whatever I went in with... today was jeans... dummy me.

So anywho... that was fill number 4! I have another appt scheduled for 7 weeks out with my surgeon's partner. I don't care for him as much but if I need it, I need it.

Love you ladies!!! :)

Oh and here's a shoutout to all my new followers!! I love you all too, thanks for tuning in!! :)

Pics and comments

Side view - 3 mos post op

Front view - not as flattering in my opinion

So, Wednesday was my 3 month bandiversary/surgiversary and these are the photos from that day. We still haven't found our camera so Chris took these with his iphone again. I'll have to get him to put together a side-by-side for me at some point.

Some things to note about this picture... the size 18 pants that make my legs look damn thin! I've never had an issue with big legs or thighs but these pants actually give me that credit! Then there's the shirt... it's too big. I bought 2x and apparently I fit in REGULAR SIZES IN THE STORE! Who knew!? Not me... I'm going to return the tops for a 1x because I like them but from now on I'm totally going to shop in the darn store!!!! Gotta love that NSV! :0

Oh and I posted these pics on my facebook and the comments I received on them drove me to happy tears! What a fabulous feeling to have all my friends and family tell me I'm wasting away! Wow... I love the support network I have. And best of all, I love you ladies!

Nutritionist visit and some goals

Yesterday I had my 3 mos post-op visit with my nutritionist. She basically went over my diet and added up the protein and said to eat more and then told me she'd see me in 3 more months or as needed before then. Sorta useless again :( Really not sure why I needed that visit.

I signed a 16 week contract with a personal trainer. I started last week and I've had a full week of it now. I see her FOUR days per week! Three days for strength training/weights and then the fourth day is cardio training. She pushes me on the treadmill... had that this morning and I feel great!! I have this issue with my hip on the left side when I walk for any length of time. We took a family walk on Sunday and then yesterday I had strength training and today cardio so it really hasn't had a chance to cool down or relax... so today's cardio was pretty painful but I knew it would cool down later and it has already. She showed me some stretches for it too and that felt great. I hoping to see some changes in my weight again with this but know it might take a while since I'm gaining muscle again.

I read Sarah's blog this morning and she was talking about some of her goals and where she is at with them. A lot of them are goals I've thought about accomplishing but never wrote them down so I just wanted to comment on a few of them from her journal.

* I wanted to be able to cross my legs properly. This is something I have accomplished. I can pull my leg up without grabbing at a pants leg or an ankle. I can keep them crossed without hooking my foot on a chair/table leg. I was sitting on a bench on Saturday waiting to be called for a dinner reservation and had my legs crossed the whole time!!! I felt cute! :)

* I want to be able to go to Six Flags Great America and ride some of the rides I had to get off of in my past. The last time I went I couldn't buckle the necessary buckles or make them click in place or whatever and had to get off of a few rides. TOTALLY humiliating and a feeling I don't want to have ever again. I'm not sure I'll be ballsy enough to go back until I'm super skinny in fear of not fitting again though! I remember at the time blaming my large chest for the reason of being kicked off. Ummm yeah... if the rest of me weren't so large my boobs wouldn't stick out as far.. HELLO! Oh well, it sounded good at the time. Oh, I'm with you though, Sarah... I am not sure I'll make it through the ride without throwing up but I have to at least try!

* I so badly want to shop in more than 2-3 stores. Lane Bryant, Old Navy, and Maurices are my staple stores these days. I suppose I bought a few bottoms from JC Penney's but overall I find their plus-sized tops to be old-fashioned and not for me.

* I want to wear cute clothes and feel COMFORTABLE in them. BIG deal to me. I like to be cute and pretend I don't care what I look like in my clothes but oh man do I ever care.

That about covers it for now. I'll be around again soon. Love you ladies!! :)

Happenings.. or lack thereof

Well, I am done working full-time these days. Now I'll just be working 5-8 pm on Tuesday and Wednesday each week to work on this big insurance that's rather complicated. For some reason I'm the only one at work that knows how to reconcile the checks for that insurance so they asked me to stay on a few hours to do that. They also want me to come back to work there full-time some day. I have the rest of the week alone but next week the kiddo is home with me again! Yay!!! I can't wait to do fun stuff with her :)

Monday was the monthly support group meeting. There were only two post-op band people and two pre-op band people at the meeting. We did split off into band and bypass groups though and the nutritionist came with the bandsters and basically it was us talking about whatever we wanted to talk about. The pre-op people asked the post-ops questions that they had and we asked the nutritionist about concerns and things.

I asked her why I could sometimes FEEL things go through my band... like each bite. She explained that from what she understood of it, it wasn't the band opening I was feeling, it was my esophagus. Apparently the band changes the pressure in your esophagus and that's what I've been feeling. Makes so much more sense now!!!

In craptastic news... we lost our damn camera! It's been missing since early June I'd guess. If we don't find it now we're going to buy a new one because in our mind that is just something we can't go without. There have been several things I've wanted to snap a picture of and can't and it's been making me angry!! :(

That's about all... boring blog!

I have a nutritionist visit on Monday, my 3 mos post-op visit. Then the following Monday I have another surgeon visit... maybe a fill? This next Monday I also see my regular doctor to discuss my labs I had done this week. I found out the results and my diabetes hasn't improved, it's gotten worse. I'm too down about it to talk about it but I will some day... blech.

Answers

I started my day off RIGHT! I called on Thursday to see about getting some stinkin' answers about my issues and they finally called me back on Friday and suggested I see the nutritionist to make sure there was nothing she could help me with before we "jump to conclusions" about there being a problem with my band. So that was this morning at 8:30.

Basically, she (Diane) helped me more than she ever has in all our visits. I see her for my 3 mos visit in 2 weeks so she wasn't talking post-op "by the book" bull, she was talking TIFFANI today. I told her all my concerns and for once she just listened. She is notorious for interrupting me or talking over me while I try to talk but this time she seemed to understand that I needed to be heard.

She told me what I knew in a few different ways. I have essentially been looking for confirmation that my band works... pb, throwing up, getting stuck, etc. I have been looking for consequences and not looking at what the band has DONE for me already. I do NOT pb, throw up or get stuck. I have been stuck ONCE and it was when I ate chicken and thought of something to say to my husband and just swallowed, practically whole. I need to turn my attitude around and think in terms of what the band has already shown me. I eat half or less than half of what I used to eat. I know this but since my weight has plateaued I assumed I'm eating more than I should be. I'm actually eating the right amount (according to Diane) and just need to chill.

She told me that she has a handful (like 5 or 6) people out of the hundreds she's seen that have no "side effects" and "do everything right" and those people think their band isn't working because of that. I am in that 5 or 6 apparently.

We went over my typical day's eating habits and we counted together to see where, if anywhere, I was falling short. Well, I am getting practically NO fruit (LOVE IT too, not sure what's up) and NO dairy and not enough protein. I'm coming up about 15 grams shy in the protein field on the a good day. So, I'll work on those areas and try to get my butt to the gym like I should be and hopefully the weight will start coming off again.

As for the 8 cc in the 9 cc band.. they told me I can email my surgeon and he will address that with me. I plan to do that in a bit here. It's still a concern obviously but I'm going to try not to focus on those things and focus on what I have accomplished so far.

Here's to a new positive start to the week... and beyond :)

Thanks for your support ladies.. I love you all... seriously.

Troubles

I figured I'd post before I read all your posts about how fabulous everyone is doing. I'm sooo happy for everyone but it's hard to read at the same time. Don't mean to be a downer.. just how I feel today.

I haven't been sleeping the best lately. I sit up wondering what the heck is wrong with my band. I am pretty sure something must be wrong. Either the amount of fluid in my band is totally wrong or I have a leak or some other problem. I feel the same as I did before I ever had a fill. Nothing different from the time I started eating solids til now. I can eat too much food still. I think the weight-loss thus far has been 80% me and 20% band. I have periodic hang-ups in my band if I eat too much or too fast but I don't really feel a ton of restriction. I don't know how to explain it.

I feel no different today than I felt Monday morning before my fill.

To answer a few questions... no they haven't ever taken the fluid 100% out to my knowledge. If they have I didn't know it. I feel no different. I just got done eating a rather large lunch and feel comfortably satisfied right now.

I do get the hiccups a lot lately when I'm eating. I got them at lunch today too. I read on the realize band site that hiccups indicate that your pouch is full and if you eat more you could throw up. I had only eaten a few bites at lunch when I got the hiccups and think it was mostly from eating too fast.

I honestly don't want people coming to my blog and feeling like I'm such a downer but I sure would love some support, encouragement, entertainment (!!), WHATEVER from you guys, lol. I just don't know where to go from here. Should I call and get in sooner??? Maybe they can check for a leak?

I'm convincing myself I'll need another surgery and that sucks. I paid a LOT of money out of pocket for this and to have to do it again makes me go "hmmm, what if it just happens like this again? Will it be worth it?"

I wonder about my first fill where she jabbed my insides/port a million times before finding the port entrance. Could she have poked my tubing and caused a leak, two leaks, more? Not really sure just trying to figure out what's wrong.

That's enough rambling for the day. I hope you're all fit and fabulous!! :) Love you girls.