Way past due!

Good grief I am a slacker!  I haven't even caught up on all of your blogs since Monday but I will get there, I promise!  I wanted to post about my week so far since it's been eventful! :)

I decided to call on Monday to schedule a fill.  I was up to like 225 point something and I was starting to look for food all day long.  I knew it wasn't in my head.  Fancy this, they had an appt available on Tuesday!  I took it!!  I went in a bit ashamed.  My blood pressure was high and they were asking me what was up since they could tell from that that I was nervous.  I explained that I was afraid I was going to be talked about behind my back at the clinic.  How this crazy girl has 9+ cc's in her 9 cc band and she wants more.. HA! What a nutcase!!  Kristen, the NP, reassured me that "nutcase" is not the phrase they use to describe me.  LOL.  She told me that she talked to my surgeon and the only conclusion they can come to is that the very first fill must have been subcutaneous since the first fill is hardest since they can't pull any fluid back to know they're in the port since there's NONE in there to pull back.  I've brought this up before but it's quite reassuring to hear again.  She also said as long as the band is allowing fluid she will put more in.  She said she's had people where the band will physically NOT allow more fluid to be pushed in.  The plunger on the syringe will go back up and fluid goes back into the syringe.  Interesting.  So she said we'd baby step me up from here on and she'd give me a 1/2 cc.  FINE! :)  She does the fill and tells me that the fluid went in very easily and there was no resistance coming back at her.  Then she sits down at the computer and gives me this look... uh oh!  She said, "I actually gave you 1 cc."  I could tell by her look... "accidentally?" I asked.  "Yes.." she said, "we got to talking and I just wasn't thinking and put all of what I had in."  She always has a bit of extra in her syringe so she has some to work with.  We had a serious talk about side effects of being too tight and she sent me off.  I even admitted to her that I was a bit excited to see the results of this fill.

Well... she called me the next morning.  She said after we talked she was worried I wouldn't tell her if I was too tight.  I admitted to wanting to feel some of the side effects of being too tight just because I never have so she was understandably worried about me.  I reassured her that I wasn't holding back and that I was doing fine so far.  I have taken it easy so far and haven't eaten anything too crazy like chicken... although I will consider that today.

I have noticed I'm feeling full sooner and for a longer period of time.  Last night I had 3/4 of a chicken patty (not the same texture as a chicken breast.. I'm sure you know what I'm referring to) and some broccoli and I was STUFFED!  I had tater tots on my plate that had to be saved for another time.  BTW - this is NOT a normal dinner but I worked until 8 and stopped at the store to cook something I could eat pronto since I'm starving when I get home from work.  They only take 15 mins in the oven.  Also, I left the bun off.  I have no problem eating bread but I noticed I was getting full off the broccoli so I figured I'd better take the bun off so I could eat more of the meat.

Not sure if I blogged about my psychologist visit on 1/1/10.  I started seeing a long-term psychologist on Friday, the first.  She is on vacation now (of course! :( ) but she gave me a sheet to track all my food on each day.  It really has kept me accountable to myself.  I go to eat that handful (or bag!) of chips and I'm like, "am I gonna want to write that on my sheet?"  Then I go on to ask myself what else I can snack on why I even need a snack.  It's really great to look back on as well.

I hate making such long blogs because I feel like no one's going to read them but that's what is new with me!  Oh and my weight is back down to 221.2.  Considering it was at 225ish last week that's pretty darn ok with me!  I'm about 8 lbs from my low thus far.  That was when I had the flu too so it's not an "official" low I guess.

Anyways, 8 lbs til I'm at my lowest weight ever! :)