Rockin' it Out!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Coming out of hiding.. with semi-bad news

Well, I am the same as everyone (most..) else and I hid when something was wrong.  *hangs head in shame*

I went in for another fill today and went armed with a speech to give.  I was ready to fight for myself and was VERY happy to find out that I didn't have to.  My nurse practitioner (NP) came armed as well.  She talked to my surgeon last night about me and they have a plan for me.  I was ranting on and on about how I'm gaining weight and it CAN NOT be all my fault.  I exercise 4 times a week and recently added in boot camp classes when possible, too.  I drink only water and milk (before meals or between as a snack) and until very recently have been following eating guidelines quite closely.  Only "until recently" because I have been feeling SO down that I've been stuffing my face with junk.  I admit this though.

My NP just nodded and sat there looking awfully sympathetic.  When I finally shut up and let her talk she told me their plan.  I'm to get an esophagram as soon as possible.  They said they have ruled out all other possibilities and are ready to look into more serious problems.  She expressed to me that they do NOT think this is my fault.  They think something is wrong with the band.  She said one of two things are likely at this point: 1) the band slipped up around my esophagus, thus, creating no pouch.  or 2) the band slipped down further or some of my stomach has prolapsed through the band.  Again, this problem would have made a larger pouch.

Both issues would explain the urge to look for food all the time and my seemingly insatiable appetite lately.  The first issue would explain why I feel some "stuck" feelings sometimes when I eat (but they pass quickly.. like a clogged drain) and why I get the hiccups when I take a drink while eating or eat too quickly.

So.. this continues the saga of Tiffani. :(

IF one of these proves to be true there is one solution.  Surgery.  I'm self-pay, in case you forgot.  I asked if the surgeons would donate their time or some such to help cut down on costs and she said she didn't know because I was the first person she knew of this being a possibility for since working there (she started in August).  She said it was definitely worth exploring though if we need to.

The NP sat with me for probably 30 minutes.  Our appt was a 15 minute time slot.  She had tears in her eyes right along with me when I sat there taking this all in.

Obviously, I got no fill.  I will be called soon to schedule my appt for that test and we'll go from there.  She said our next step would be to look for a leak but they really don't think I'm showing signs of that happening.

I would have so many decisions to make if this (any of this!) is the case... remove the band, replace the band, reposition the existing band.... UGH UGH UGH :( :( :(  I hate this.

Did I mention I'm 5 lbs away from weighing what I weighed on my date of surgery?  Yeah.  Something's wrong.


  1. Oh Tiffani...I'm so sorry this is happening! I just hope they find out it's something they can do something easily about...If it's a slip of the stomach up could they try an unfill to see if it will fall back into place, or maybe you've been through that? ((hugs))

  2. Oh how aweful....I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wish you much luck, hang in there.

  3. Ugh, I am SO sorry! It seems like in a few rare cases something just goes wrong, and I think we all think/hope it won't happen to us, but sometimes it DOES happen to us. I hope you are able to keep the band and get it fixed... you deserve this dream come true just like the rest of us!

  4. Tiffani so sorry this is happening to you. PLEASE keep in touch and let us know the results. Hang in there!

  5. Tiffani!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This sucks! I dont know what to say. maybe it is like what happened to loosing in 2009...and it's not as bad as you think.


    I am sorry :(

  6. Tiffani, I was also a self pay so I totally can sympathize with that :( I hope that they can find out what the problem is soon and that it might be an easy fix. Keep us updated.

  7. Oh I'm so sad to hear that. They thought I had a slipped band a few months ago and I freaked out, so I understand the feelings your having. I didn't thankfully, and I hope the same for you. I also know that you need to find out what the problem so you can get back to losing. Good luck - keep us posted.

  8. Tiffani, So, so sorry you are having to deal with this. I am self-pay too, and I always worry about what would happen if something goes wrong - I'm sure none of us budgeted for a second surgery!

    So I'm really hoping it is something easily fixable!

  9. :( :( :( :(

    That's about all I can "say." :( I'm so bummed out for you right now.

  10. I hope they find something hun. I'm OVER what I weighed the day I had surgery but it's my own fault with bad choices, etc. I'm crossing my fingers for you.

  11. Oh Tiff~ I'm sorry to hear this honey. If there is anything I can do let me know.You are in my thoughts all the time. HUGS!

  12. Oh my dear sweet Tiffani! Im sorry Im just now reading this Amy and I were talking about it at Lunch Yesterday and I havent been on here to read it yet because my computer is broke still.

    ANYHOW. Im so sorry you are having this go wrong. Im glad that your doctors are trying to help you Ive heard so many horror stories about doctors not wanting to try to give you any reason except you must not be eating and working out like you are suppose to even if you are. just know that you will be in my prayers and If you need anyone to talk to you have us! you can send me a message on fb or shit you can even call me if you want! my # is on fb. but I hope you get some answers and are able to get it fixed [without paying for it!] im here for you if you need me!

  13. Sorry, i am just now catching up on blogs...that is a bummer about your news! I sure hope everything works out soon - and without another surgery!! I too am self pay and cant imagine having to face that! Fingers crossed for you!

  14. Sorry I am just now posting (I had read from my phone but couldn't reply)
    :( I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, what an absolute drag to not know and have to wait for appointments.... ughhh!
    Thinking of you.... Jen

  15. Hey Tiff! Finally catching up on my blog reading and have to say I am so sorry to find you in such a sad place, but so glad that action is being taken. There is an answer to the problem and there IS a solution so just hang in there. I know someone who had some issues and yes it took her a lot longer to get going with the weight loss, but she did have success in the end and I think she was successful with her doctors helping out with the cost. Will be thinking about you.